NEED TO KNOW
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A woman who works from her home is frustrated by her stepdaughter’s mother making demands that she care for the child while working
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She shared her frustrations on Mumsnet, wondering if she was being unreasonable by saying no, as it’s caused tension with her partner
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Many commenters sided with her, and one said it was “a relief to hear a woman say I said no to compromising my job”
A woman who is refusing to look after her stepdaughter while working from home is now in an argument with her partner’s ex.
The frustrated 33-year-old woman explained in a post on the popular U.K.- based forum Mumsnet that her job managing a finance team for a local authority is highly demanding and stressful. She doesn’t have any biological children, but her partner, 33, has a 9-year-old daughter from a previous relationship who often interrupts her work.
“Whenever my stepdaughter is poorly or it is the school holidays and her mother hasn’t arranged suitable childcare, she always asks me to look after her because ‘I work from home so I can look after her,’ ” the woman said. “Every time she has asked me, I have always said no.”
Natalia Lebedinskaia/Getty
A woman leaves a child with a sitter (Stock photo)
Her refusal is now causing tension between her stepdaughter’s mother and her partner, as there is an argument that she should make herself available to look out for the girl.
“However, I don’t see why it is any different to someone who goes to a place of work who cannot look after a child, to someone who WFH (work from home),” the woman said. “I am in meetings, training, phone calls and I sit in silence with no TV/music on when working. I need to concentrate. I cannot look after a poorly child whilst I am also working,” she continued.
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The woman added that there have been times when she’s been asked to work from the office. However, when she is remote, the expectation is that she “just be able to” look after her stepdaughter.
“It also doesn’t help that stepdaughter does not listen to me very much,” she said. “When I ask her to do something, or not do something, she more often than not ignores me, and I have to repeat myself 10 times or ask her dad to sort her.”
The woman said she understands her role in her stepdaughter’s life, but doesn’t want to compromise her career.
“My career, it is important. I don’t have children of my own and yes I respect and understanding being with my partner he has a daughter, so that comes with additional factors, but I do not see how that should affect my work,” she said.
The majority of users attempted to reassure the woman that she was not in the wrong and questioned why the father wasn’t being called upon to provide care.
“You are not even slightly in the wrong but I do wonder is her dad as well as her mom doing his share of the childcare when she is ill or in holidays?” one wrote.
Another added it was “a relief to hear a woman say I said no to compromising my job for someone else’s demands! Absolutely not.”
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It was also brought up that working from home was still work and not free daycare service.
“WFH doesn’t mean you can look after children while working. I don’t with my own children,” a user said.
In an update to her post, the woman said the child’s birth mother “is asking me directly, she never goes to my partner to ask, always straight to me,” and relayed to her partner that his daughter can’t be with her if she doesn’t listen after another mishap where she was ignored.
Read the original article on People
