Tomorrow, Thursday, Aug. 21, 2025, will mark the launch of the new direct-to-consumer ESPN app, named, well, ESPN. The former(ly branded) “Worldwide Leader in Sports” is now all-in — and “All in One Place,” as the new branding hammers home — on streaming. ESPN has also gone all-in on marketing the hell out of this thing; it better, the new app costs a not-cheap $29.99/month.

John Cena headlines the campaign as some sort of coach “guiding fans on the new ESPN DTC features in addition to what fans need to know about the Disney+, Hulu, ESPN Bundle,” according to the announcement. Cena’s tag-team partner in this endeavor is ESPN’s first-ever mascot, App-E.

App-E is, well, a giant square with the ESPN-stylized letter “E” on its … torso? It’s a very oversized smartphone/tablet application button, with arms and hands poking out from the margins of the “E,” and eyebrows, eyes and a mouth above. There’s also a not-very-nose-like pillow between App-E’s eyes, which is probably what the human inside sees out of. App-E has a big red ESPN hat, and some dope ESPN kicks that appear to be modeled off the original Air Jordan sneakers. With his build, App-E is going to have a hard time getting through some doors sideways. Then again, same for Cena.

App-E made its big debut on Tuesday, Aug. 19, at Disney’s New York City HQ during a press event unveiling the new ESPN app. There, the 6-foot-plus tile participated in product demonstrations, mingled and offered high fives to guests brave enough to be within a human-arm’s distance.

With so much on the line for ESPN, it is understandable (I guess) that now would be the time to add a mascot, though I’m not sure if App-E is that dude. From a recognizability standpoint, App-E is a home run: it is literally the ESPN app icon it sets out to promote. But it’s also basic and lazy. ESPN is owned by Disney, the company with all of the characters — can we really not do a bit better?

Also, what really is “App-E”? I get it. App-E is an app, and it is adorned with an “E.” Totally clear. But App-E is a meaningless hyphenated compound word. It is the backwards way of saying “E” app, of course, shorthand for the ESPN app. But App-E in that order sort of denotes that this is the fifth app, or the fifth version of the app in the development phase.

Further, “App-E” is not a play on “happy,” The Hollywood Reporter is told. The phonetic interpretation, “Appy,” is a mostly meaningless non-word generally used a shortened, informal term to reference appetizers in a restaurant. Other fringe uses of “appy,” per the internet, include casual references to the appendix within the medical community. Finally, “Appy” could be a nickname for an Appaloosa horse. App-E is not a horse, but maybe that would have been a better idea?

App-E “started as ESPN Creative Studios thinking of ways to generate awareness for the ‘E’ app logo and it turned into thinking more about it in the context of the app tile,” an ESPN spokesperson told THR. They wanted someone — or something — for Cena to “play off of.”

Launching directly opposite the new ESPN app on Thursday is Fox’s new app, Fox One, which will include live feeds of Fox News Channel, FS1 and the Fox broadcast channel, and costs $20 a month. On Oct. 2, streaming users will have the option to pair the ESPN app with Fox One for $39.99/month.

Fox infamously has a Fox Sports mascot, Cleatus, a robot in full football pads. Like I expect for App-E, Cleatus is almost-universally despised — by adults, at least. Generally speaking, the Cleatus hate comes from a few places: 1) Cleatus takes up too much of the screen (both in size and screen time), 2) His pads aside, Cleatus has nothing to do with football, and 3) It is annoying that this random cyborg needs to stretch and warm up as much as it did. But at the very least, Cleatus is a creative swing with a name that has some tethering to language: Cletus is a man’s name, and cleats are a key component of football gear.

App-E is not the only (over)use of a capital “E” in ESPN’s new campaign. On Friday, the New York City Subway system’s “E” Train will be “wrapped inside-out with ESPN branding,” the company said. And at the Spring Street station platform, fans will hear special announcements from ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith. Because MTA announcements needed to be more grating, I guess.