SNL’s Donald Trump Tells Gen Z Why He’s Not Getting Into Heaven

Saturday Night Live‘s Donald Trump joined a Gen Z boys’ podcast about snacks in which he simultaneously dissected both Airheads and his chances of getting into heaven.

On “Snack Homiez,” Trump (James Austin Johnson) told the podcast hosts—one of whom was played by Sabrina Carpenter—that “it’s been a long time coming with regard to snacks and friendship and from the standpoint of podcasts.”

When asked by Braylor (Chloe Fineman) what he thinks about vegetables, Trump admitted he has “never been one for the veggies.”

“Ding-dongs, I like a ding-dong,” he explained. “We love Little Debbie. She does tremendous work. It’s awful what happened to her. I like the Christmas tree cake. You know, it used to be seasonal. But I very smartly made a call, now we get it year ’round.”

“Dang! That’s so fire, sir!” Braylor replied.

“It is,” Trump agreed. “It’s very fire.”

When Tayson (Carpenter) brought up Airheads, Trump naturally rambled about world affairs and kept exaggerating his questionable list of wars “solved.”

“Airheads—very interesting taste. Look at China, look at Korea. You know, I’ve solved like seven wars at this point, right? And no one gives me credit. It’s like 100 wars I’ve solved, right?” he said.

“Something like 200 wars, right?” he went on. “You know Zelensky, he asked for Tomahawks that could reach Moscow, and I used to not like the guy, but he’s tough, he loves his country. He loves his country.”

Trump then offered a non-sensible explanation for commuting fraudster George Santos’ prison sentence.

“You know who I like is George Santos. He’s weird, he’s a liar. I think he’s great. We don’t know anything about him. He’s one of our favorite people. I don’t know him at all but one of our favorite people,” Trump said, before referencing Saturday’s No Kings protests nationwide against him. “People are marching because they’re happy he’s free. It’s a ‘Yes, king’ March. They say ‘Yes, king.’ Maybe if I think about it, blue Airhead.”

Trump then asked the podcast hosts about whether they though he would be getting into heaven—apparently a frequent concern of his of late.

“Am I going to heaven, Chet? Do I fit the criteria in terms of Christian and with regard to St. Peter and pearly gates?” the 79-year-old asked.

The kids weren’t sure.

“Um, I don’t know, sir,” Braylor replied.

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“Probably not, right? Epstein!” he blurted out, name-checking his former pal, the dead sex offender. “Oh, well. You know, it’s been a good run. I had a great time.”

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