So, periods aren’t exactly fun to go through. They’re uncomfortable and inconvenient, accompanied by symptoms like bloating, anxiety, brain fog, etc. Then, decades later, comes menopause — hot flashes, mood changes, insomnia, just a whole new set of even more symptoms. But there’s this other thing women go through in between the throes of living with their period and menopause, a change that happens between these two stages that isn’t talked about enough — and that’s perimenopause.
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It’s the transitional stage of women’s reproductive health that occurs before menopause when the ovaries start to slow down, leading to hormonal fluctuations and a variety of symptoms, lasting for several years. In r/Millennials, a Redditor brought up the topic: “Perimenopause PSA to all older millennial vagina havers,” and the responses were eye-opening.
The OP, RhinestoneToad, posted:
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“I am turning 37 this year and have entered into perimenopause, a term I encountered for the first time literally only months ago because it was never once mentioned in public school sex-ed or health classes, not once by any gyno I’ve ever seen, nor by any boomer woman in my life, including my own mother and aunts.
I figured I couldn’t be the only one, so yeah, apparently, it’s a thing that millennials everywhere either are already going through or in some cases, without even knowing it — or not knowing what it even is, will be going through soon enough.” I only ever heard about menopause, how someday I’d get ‘hot flashes’ and my periods would stop, but actually, for years leading up to perimenopause, it’s like puberty 2.0, as the whole system goes absolutely haywire.
Anything is possible with the periods themselves. I’m getting them more frequently, but they’re shorter and lighter. Oh, and now they’re sometimes pink instead of just bright or rusty red, but the total opposite can happen. It could be less frequent, longer, heavier, or even a totally random surprise mix. Oh, and the mood swings, the jawline zits, just like when I was 15, woohoo!“
The post received thousands of comments from fellow millennial women. Many spoke of the symptoms they’ve faced, shared resources, and how they advocated for their health to be taken seriously by doctors. Here’s what people had to say:
“Thanks for the PSA!” Redditor, Recent-Ad-7624, and asked if this was a “secret.”
“Somehow, no one mentioned it to me either??? Like, why don’t we talk about this puberty 2.0??? Is it a secret????”
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People shared about how isolating and confusing it can be when first going through perimenopause and how it was a struggle to get a diagnosis from their doctor. One Redditor detailed their symptoms, which ranged from “cystic acne” along the jaw and neck to “headaches,” fatigue, and “lower back, hips, and leg” pain.
“I had a similar experience. I’m 43 and have a lot of perimenopause symptoms, but my period is pretty regular. In my late 30s, I started getting headaches, which I thought were sinus-related, but they didn’t go away with my usual sinus methods (like Zyrtec). Then I realized it always started right before my period and went away right when I started. I was having cystic acne on my jaw and neck mostly but sometimes on my back and butt. I was also having a lot of chin hair growth. I figured low estrogen, and my doctor put me back on birth control. That helped the headaches a little, but I still get them, and sometimes really bad ones.
My acne just went away though, but occasionally, I get the back and butt bumps. I lasered my chin.
For the last two years, my lower back, hips, and legs will hurt. I get fatigued. I went to the doctor, and she said I likely have PMDD, and while I don’t doubt that as I have gotten older, my period symptoms have gotten worse. The reason she suggested PMDD was that they don’t think perimenopause unless the period is irregular, and that peri usually starts at 45+. But that seemed silly to me, because many women have symptoms earlier than that. Just makes me feel like with everything involving women’s health, no one takes it seriously until it’s extreme.”
“Fuck, so many of this I am experiencing 😭, and as OP mentioned it’s literally without warning. You have to fish for answers and figure it out on your own.”
Other symptoms people shared included “dry eyes,” “insomnia,” mood swings, and “periods and period cramps” that have gotten worse. They suggested an online movement called the We Do Not Care Club on Instagram, founded by Melani Sanders, who advocates for women’s health during perimenopause and menopause.
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“Elder millennial here who has been going through this for a literal hot minute. Your body just up and decides to go haywire during perimenopause. I’ve had brain fog, hip pain, extremely dry eyes, my periods and period cramps are worse, and it’s been difficult to sleep (even though I’m exhausted for days leading up to my period). I also broke a tooth at random, and my shoulder froze for almost a year.
Welcome to middle age, ladies! Go find the We Do Not Care Club on Instagram and embrace the ridiculousness.”
“Omg, the dry eyes, I did not know that was a symptom. They’re so dry all the time, and my skin gets so itchy, I can’t take it.”
“44 here. So far, I have extra chin hairs. I can barely stand my husband and child, and have the most brutal insomnia. I go to bed at 10 p.m., waking up between midnight and 2 a.m., and can’t get back to sleep until maybe 4 a.m. or never.”
Additional symptoms Redditors pointed out included “hormonal acne,” “itchy ears,” and “random pops of anxiety,” and again, they spoke of how much they had to advocate for themselves to be heard by their doctors.
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“Itchy ears, tinnitus, vagina on fire, random pops of anxiety…the list is endless, and the longer it gets, the less the doctors listen. At 39, I finally found a doctor who agreed to give me a blood test. I found out there was barely any estrogen left in the house. I was well post-menopausal and just too tired to notice at that point. Be better than I was, and advocate for yourselves, please! Once I got my HRT, it felt like a miracle.”
“Itchy ears. Such an under-talked-about symptom. My gynecologist was all, ‘I’ve never heard of that.’ I was like., ‘And I never heard of perimenopause until like two years ago. What’s your point?'”
“The hormonal acne is BRUTAL. So far, the best treatment I’ve found for the zits is zapping them with a high-frequency wand. Also, the inside of my ears is always itchy.”
On why perimenopause is not talked about enough, one Redditor theorized it could stem from the anti-aging shame that women face, but by being honest and open about it, we can help break the cycle.
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“Because people are aging, but they are ashamed to talk about it. I’ve been bringing it up to all my friends and family my age, trying to break the stigma. It’s natural and normal, and we need to help each other get through it as healthy as possible.”
And this one Redditor has even dedicated themselves to becoming the “perimenopause fairy.” 🧚:
“I’m older than the ladies in my friend group, and started talking to them about it. I post about it on social media and have told my nieces (who are in their 20s) about it. The only thing I knew about perimenopause was that my mom got really mad about everything, and she was depressed for a long time. Literally, nothing else. I’m trying to be the perimenopause fairy and spread the word so people aren’t shocked when it starts.“
Was this the first time hearing about perimenopause? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
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